It is day two of Orientation Week here at Moorlands and already my social skills are beginning to mess with me. Thank God I have the internet to be my normal insane self on, without it I'd be in prison.
Wait... I didn't mean that...
There is a strange experience some of my fellow internet dwellers may well understand, this is my Cherries version of 'Socially Awkward Male Enters Room Full of Many People He Does Not Know'...
You have an overwhelming desire to both leave and try to get to know people at the same time, this confuses you. Hunting around to try to find someone to talk to you realise that you are rather waiting for someone to actively make the effort to come and talk to you. Realising that you have placed yourself in that situation, no-one in the room has any social obligation to talk to you, especially if they are already engaged in conversation. You walk slowly through the room stopping awkwardly every so often to look at people and remember how unlikely it is you can legitimately enter their conversation. You reach the far side of the room.
Entering the kitchen you walk rapidly to the cupboard and remove a mug, now you have a safety blanket. Moving across to the teabags you allow yourself an inner sigh of relief, there is now a valid agenda to you having entered the room. You take as long as possible making your cup of tea, stirring constantly and carefully draining the teabag of as much fluid as possible before taking it to the bin.
Lifting the mug to your lips you remember it is hot and blow on it to save face. A miracle occurs! You notice somebody that you know you can have meaningless conversation with who isn't involved in any other form of socialising in the room, perhaps their previous conversant needed to urinate or defecate. You casually stroll over and pretend you only just noticed them, a conversation begins, it is normally a meaningless one which the other party is desperate to get out of. You notice a conversation happening which you could have meaningful input to. You look over and see someone inputting, you realise your input would be both unwanted and unnecessary.
Turning back to your safety blanket you notice that they have realised you don't really want to talk to them. They leave on a pretense.
Stranded you smile awkwardly at a female you have never met, get terrified that they think you're flirting with them so you walk quickly away out of danger into the safety of the corridor, the glorious embrace of solitude. You insert your left headphone, decide your right ear will be your 'welcoming' ear and walk slowly around the college trying to look as if you're going somewhere.
Day 2 has been fun.
For now I leave you with love,
The Rambler
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
The Rambler's Orientation Week Protocol
Today is the day of reckoning, orientation week at Moorlands Bible College! As I sit here comfortably in my reading room I think back to this time two years ago when I was heading in to Moorlands with high academic and low social expectations. Oh how that has almost sort of changed!
This week is one of social hell for someone like me. I do not operate well in large groups of people, I am either in a strange mood and make an arse of myself or (and this is what happens most of the time) I sit in a corner hoping desperately that someone will want to talk to me. This is an incredibly depressing thought considering I am now a third year... So I have compiled a list of protocols for an orientation week which could be as pain free as possible and which will result in less cliques, forced/exaggerated personalities and subconscious competition to be the funniest, cleverest, strongest and most importantly... the most popular!
1) If you think you have a good idea to entertain people, it probably isn't and you probably shouldn't do it. Why not offer to make someone a cup of tea or coffee instead rather than vying to be the centre of attention?
2) If this thought pops into your head, 'I can beat that story!', please don't try to, it is only reinforcing the social pressures to be the funniest, cleverest, one with the most anecdotes etc.
3) During the first week of meeting people physical contact should be kept to a minimum, especially between members of the opposite sex (or if you're gay/bi, maybe restrict it with same sex even though no-one probably knows...). The only exception to this should be if you know the other person doesn't mind you wrestling/hugging/etc. them.
4) Guys, I'm pretty sure girls don't find it charming if you 'jokingly' flirt with them. Infact, I wouldn't be surprised if they actually find it quite creepy. Don't take polite laughter as genuine.
5) People may laugh at your stupidity in the first week or two, that is because they don't know you well enough to tell you to stop.
6) Try not to get carried away, rather than exaggerating yourself why not tone yourself down?
7) You aren't impressing anyone by being outrageous. (I should probably listen to my own advice here...)
8) Just because you're different doesn't mean people have to like you.
9) Cliques are inevitable, just don't isolate your clique from everyone else. All it does is create an unwelcoming and isolationist culture for those who don't thrive on being social.
10) Don't judge a book by it's cover.
11) Sleeveless tops are banned for the first two weeks. No-one cares about how big your arms are.
12) If you fancy someone, don't start stalking them. Ignore the fact that you are lusting after them and go about your daily life. If something happens then great, if not you'll just end up getting hurt.
12b) Be happy with where you're at, if you need a relationship to get you by then you shouldn't be in one.
13) Not everyone is super happy all the time, don't pretend you are but be reasonable about the expression of your emotion.
14) Debates in the Cherries are all well and good BUT:
Your opinion is not infallible
An attack on your position is not ad hominem
Anglicanism isn't wrong just because it is Anglicanism
Don't create a divide between evangelical and liberal, it makes no sense
Before you bash evolution, learn what it actually is
If there is a debate going on and you don't want to get involved, don't announce that fact, tell them that their debate is pointless then walk off. Just walk off
If you genuinely fall out with someone or begin to not like a person based on an issue you are debating (what you think of their conduct is a different matter) then you have issues.
15) It is okay not to like people at Bible College, just don't gossip about them and don't hold up a pretense.
Those are my tips for a successful orientation week, I'm sure there are more so if you want to add to them then feel free!!
For now I leave you with love,
The Rambler
This week is one of social hell for someone like me. I do not operate well in large groups of people, I am either in a strange mood and make an arse of myself or (and this is what happens most of the time) I sit in a corner hoping desperately that someone will want to talk to me. This is an incredibly depressing thought considering I am now a third year... So I have compiled a list of protocols for an orientation week which could be as pain free as possible and which will result in less cliques, forced/exaggerated personalities and subconscious competition to be the funniest, cleverest, strongest and most importantly... the most popular!
1) If you think you have a good idea to entertain people, it probably isn't and you probably shouldn't do it. Why not offer to make someone a cup of tea or coffee instead rather than vying to be the centre of attention?
2) If this thought pops into your head, 'I can beat that story!', please don't try to, it is only reinforcing the social pressures to be the funniest, cleverest, one with the most anecdotes etc.
3) During the first week of meeting people physical contact should be kept to a minimum, especially between members of the opposite sex (or if you're gay/bi, maybe restrict it with same sex even though no-one probably knows...). The only exception to this should be if you know the other person doesn't mind you wrestling/hugging/etc. them.
4) Guys, I'm pretty sure girls don't find it charming if you 'jokingly' flirt with them. Infact, I wouldn't be surprised if they actually find it quite creepy. Don't take polite laughter as genuine.
5) People may laugh at your stupidity in the first week or two, that is because they don't know you well enough to tell you to stop.
6) Try not to get carried away, rather than exaggerating yourself why not tone yourself down?
7) You aren't impressing anyone by being outrageous. (I should probably listen to my own advice here...)
8) Just because you're different doesn't mean people have to like you.
9) Cliques are inevitable, just don't isolate your clique from everyone else. All it does is create an unwelcoming and isolationist culture for those who don't thrive on being social.
10) Don't judge a book by it's cover.
11) Sleeveless tops are banned for the first two weeks. No-one cares about how big your arms are.
12) If you fancy someone, don't start stalking them. Ignore the fact that you are lusting after them and go about your daily life. If something happens then great, if not you'll just end up getting hurt.
12b) Be happy with where you're at, if you need a relationship to get you by then you shouldn't be in one.
13) Not everyone is super happy all the time, don't pretend you are but be reasonable about the expression of your emotion.
14) Debates in the Cherries are all well and good BUT:
Your opinion is not infallible
An attack on your position is not ad hominem
Anglicanism isn't wrong just because it is Anglicanism
Don't create a divide between evangelical and liberal, it makes no sense
Before you bash evolution, learn what it actually is
If there is a debate going on and you don't want to get involved, don't announce that fact, tell them that their debate is pointless then walk off. Just walk off
If you genuinely fall out with someone or begin to not like a person based on an issue you are debating (what you think of their conduct is a different matter) then you have issues.
15) It is okay not to like people at Bible College, just don't gossip about them and don't hold up a pretense.
Those are my tips for a successful orientation week, I'm sure there are more so if you want to add to them then feel free!!
For now I leave you with love,
The Rambler
Monday, 26 September 2011
Imaginaaatiiioonnnnn!
There is something gloriously profound about the world of imagination: everyone has access to it, anything can occur, it is purely uncensored (unless you choose to censor it) and it is totally and utterly free. However it can produce awful, awful pieces of tripe like this:
Yes, I drew that. I started drawing the hairline of someone who was preaching and this is what it turned into. While I question what the hell my mind was thinking there is perhaps a deeper and more meaningful idea that this drawing stands for. There is no true aesthetic judgement that can be made. WOW, I'm a freaking genius, I came up with that all by myself. No, of course many people have proposed something similar. That is after all the philosophy of the noise scene:
While some don't like one thing, others love it. Unfortunately you do find certain... snobs... who in their attempt to live out the 'no aesthetic judgement' philosophy end up succumbing to aesthetic judgement themselves. You hear it all the time in metal circles, 'Justin Bieber is crap, metal is real music!', 'That stuff in the charts isn't music, listen to classic rock, that is real music!'
Now while some of these folk are making a personal statement it can often come across as an attempt to make objective something which cannot be. I oppose certain types of music (generally the use of autotuning etc) on bases other than aesthetic which I will address in a future post. This is what is so utterly magnificent about imagination. All of these songs (well,most of them... you can always admire the computers...) are the product of either individual or corporate imagination. Sure, you often also need the technical skill, talent and soul to perform and record those musical ideas but they have first been birthed out of the mind of either one or a group of human beings.
I refuse to decry anything which has been birthed out of the mind of another human unless it diminishes the development of other humans (which I think autotuning etc does) or unless I make it clear that my opinion is purely subjective. The human mind is an incredible thing...
So I urge you, next time you sit and listen to a piece of music to not think about how technically gifted the musicians are, not to think about what a wonderful voice the singer/artist has but rather to consider this: Everything of meaning that you are hearing on that record was first birthed, conceived, manipulated and formed by and in a human mind. It is only because of a mind that you have the privilege to experience the sounds that you are hearing. I often wondered why I loved music so much and why I refuse to be confined to any stigma, stereotype or genre; I think I have found my reason.
For now I leave you with love,
The Rambler
Follow @BenMartinBass
Yes, I drew that. I started drawing the hairline of someone who was preaching and this is what it turned into. While I question what the hell my mind was thinking there is perhaps a deeper and more meaningful idea that this drawing stands for. There is no true aesthetic judgement that can be made. WOW, I'm a freaking genius, I came up with that all by myself. No, of course many people have proposed something similar. That is after all the philosophy of the noise scene:
While some don't like one thing, others love it. Unfortunately you do find certain... snobs... who in their attempt to live out the 'no aesthetic judgement' philosophy end up succumbing to aesthetic judgement themselves. You hear it all the time in metal circles, 'Justin Bieber is crap, metal is real music!', 'That stuff in the charts isn't music, listen to classic rock, that is real music!'
Now while some of these folk are making a personal statement it can often come across as an attempt to make objective something which cannot be. I oppose certain types of music (generally the use of autotuning etc) on bases other than aesthetic which I will address in a future post. This is what is so utterly magnificent about imagination. All of these songs (well,most of them... you can always admire the computers...) are the product of either individual or corporate imagination. Sure, you often also need the technical skill, talent and soul to perform and record those musical ideas but they have first been birthed out of the mind of either one or a group of human beings.
I refuse to decry anything which has been birthed out of the mind of another human unless it diminishes the development of other humans (which I think autotuning etc does) or unless I make it clear that my opinion is purely subjective. The human mind is an incredible thing...
So I urge you, next time you sit and listen to a piece of music to not think about how technically gifted the musicians are, not to think about what a wonderful voice the singer/artist has but rather to consider this: Everything of meaning that you are hearing on that record was first birthed, conceived, manipulated and formed by and in a human mind. It is only because of a mind that you have the privilege to experience the sounds that you are hearing. I often wondered why I loved music so much and why I refuse to be confined to any stigma, stereotype or genre; I think I have found my reason.
For now I leave you with love,
The Rambler
Follow @BenMartinBass
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