An Essay To Write...

As I sit here in the library at Moorlands my head is swimming with information and jobs to do: 

• I need to get this essay done
• No-one has emailed back regarding my dissertation research
• I've got to do some reading for block placement
• I need to run through the Bloodwork songs before Saturday's practice
• Oh dear, I need to do some Christmas shopping!
• My house isn't finished on Minecraft... I'll find time for that later

I have this really naff habit of placing my personal wellbeing far and beyond below everything else, I know that the more time I spend in quiet meditation and reflection the more focussed my mind, the more still my spirit and the greater the revelation. As it has been said, 'Be still and know that I am God', how often as busy Christians with busy lives do we forget that? How often as Bible college students do we forget to do that?

I have often fallen into the trap of assuming that studying the Reformers, writing an essay, because it is, in general terms, worship that it counts... It doesn't if it isn't done with the right heart. Our heart position on these sorts of things is absolutely crucial, this is something I picked up when I was at Nexus, something I was convinced I would remain true to. I am ashamed to admit that I've been found lacking recently. 

I have started praying more though, this has resulted in conviction, in a hunger and a thirst for scripture. I am reminded of this verse, 'I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.' (Galatians 2.20). Oft cited by many folk it pretty much sums up where I'm at right now and how I am approaching these next few months (with, of course, a view to carry on!!). When I am in Chesterfield on block placement a significant part of what I do will be interacting with and spending time with strangers, people like myself who feel ostracised and who are hurting and broken. If you know me at all you will know that I suck at things like that, however as I reflect on and pray over this Galatians passage there is a simple yet radical truth which comes to me:

I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Simple I know right? There is so much in there though, so many implications. I am not for one second saying that I am ashamed of what Christ has done in me or that I am unwilling to speak His name. I am saying that through all my fears and failures, through all my insecurities it should be this truth that is manifested, not the bold faced lies that I am inadequate to carry out the task which is laid before me by God. I have no idea what that is, and to be perfectly honest with you I'm terrified. 

I don't see comfort, I don't see acceptance, I see challenge and I see struggle. I see conviction, I see joy, I see GLORY being brought to the KING OF KINGS, I see knees bowed before Him in adoration, I see hearts open to the LORD OF LORDS, I see weeping with joy, I see broken lives MADE NEW, I see men and women who were once stuck in a lukewarm hovel being SET ON FIRE, I see new leaders being raised up, I see bold and prophetic declarations over each other, I see people FORSAKING SIN for the sake of the Gospel, I see people loving EVERYONE, I hear the screams and the cries of the justified rising up, I see a SPIRITUAL ARMY of the living, holy God, I see relationships, I see people stepping forward into new and exciting places, I SEE DISCIPLES WHO ARE LIVING THEIR LIVES TRANSPARENTALLY, IN FULL VIEW OF THOSE AROUND THEM, I SEE CHRIST BEING GLORIFIED THROUGH THE SIMPLE SERVICE AND WORDS OF THOSE DISCIPLES, NOT BEING SOLD THROUGH THE COMMERCIALISATION OF THE CHURCH.

For now I leave you with love,

The Rambler

Beginning of the End

It is the Friday before the new students turn up to Moorlands Bible College, I have started a fresh blog, we have new housemates, I am back to playing bass and on top of all that I am now a third year student. This is the beginning of the end! 

As I sit here in my cupboard room listening to the dulcet tones of Mayhem's 'De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas' I am reminded of the day when I first arrived to the campus. At that time I was living in halls, had only visited the college once for my interview in August and really did not know what I was going in to. To be totally honest I didn't particularly know what the course I would be studying involved and wasn't nearly 100% on why I was there. 


I remember walking through the corridors with my meagre belongings thinking to myself, 'I'm really not going to find anyone here who likes metal, comic books and the bass am I. This is going to be a lonely three years...'. It turns out I found someone who liked one of the three, a couple of people are/were kind of into bass (maybe not as obsessively as I can be but you have to take what you can get in these situations) and semi-found someone who was into metal of some form. 


To be honest though, there is little that can knock your confidence in who you are more than being in a place where the individual aspect of your personality can't really thrive. Now don't get me wrong, that isn't to say that people don't want to let it thrive, just that when people are simply unable to passively (or, dare I say it, actively!) nurture a part of someone's identity the rest of the psyche can begin to question its validity. Curiously, it seems that the most important part of my identity, that which is rooted in Jesus Christ, is the one which should be thriving the most in this environment. It is, however, a constant struggle to feed that into the dying parts of who I am because the feeding line is a complex one. When something is so deeply rooted (metal for example) and it is unable to be nurtured effectively within the context of the deeper core (Christ) everything begins to suffer. 


We are a relational people, this is not a post encouraging people to attempt the nurture of personalities which they cannot effectively relate to but rather to suggest a new approach. 


When you recognise something within a person which you perhaps perceive as lonely, rather than either ignoring it or *shock horror* mocking it in a jovial manner think about the impact your words or lack thereof are having on that person. If you feel able, maybe ask them something about it, appear interested in something that they are rarely able to talk about or that you know they might be desperately wanting to talk to someone about (be it a gig, a new computer game, a new album, book, date, whatever). You don't need to be over-sensitive, most people can take a jibe or a stereotype, but don't let it overstay it's welcome. There is always a line to these things.


On the note of nurturing, metal and being relational there is always a chance that someone is going to show up in the new intake of first years who I can invite round to listen to metal with me. It's unlikely but you never know! It's going to be interesting next week, I think I'll post tomorrow discussing 'Moorlands Orientation Week Protocol' which could prove controversial!


For now I leave you with love,


The Rambler
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New Site, Regular Updates and New and Improved Content!!

Welcome to my brand new blog! Well, technically it is the same blog but I have shifted it to a new host in order to improve content and to give greater access to new ideas for posts. 
On that note, I have plans to post regular reviews of albums and gigs. The first of these should be up towards the end of this weekend with a series of album reviews leading up to this years NordicFest which I shall review with unrelenting honesty and fervour, just remember that a review is semi-objective and semi-subjective.
I will repost all my previous content onto this site but under new headers so that you can control the content you want to see and choose to read various categories and blog post themes. So, if you were subscribed to my previous blog you can feel free to unsubscribe from that as there will be no new posts and please subscribe to this one! If you weren't previously subscribed then please subscribe if you are interested in what I have to say. 

Well, I'm now off to re-upload my content... Don't forget to subscribe!

The_Rambler