A Brief Introduction To... (Originally Posted on 01/02/11)

This is a brief introduction to a series of reflections I will start writing on the topic of relationship. By this I do not mean romantic relationship but relationship in the broadest definition, how we interact with people, why we interact with people and why we interact the way we do.

They will possibly be incoherent in structure since they are more in a rambling, stream of consciousness format. This is why I sign all posts as ‘The Rambler’ even though many will be perfectly coherent and nowhere near the spectrum of ramble.

Something has always fascinated me about smiles, why do I smile at someone? How does that person interpret the smile? Is their interpretation correct or incorrect? Does that interpretation matter to our relationship?

Person A: *smile*
Person B: *return smile*
Person A: Hi there.
Person B: Hey, what’s your name?
Person A: I’m Daniel, you?
Person B: Rebecca.
Daniel: It’s nice to meet you Rebecca.
Rebecca: Lovely to meet you too.

A simple enough encounter yes? Or not. Daniel is a nice, friendly chap and spotted Rebecca sat on her own in a pub looking down, he wants to make sure she is OK and look out for her welfare. Rebecca is using this as a tactic to pick up men who she will later steal from.

Our approach to relationships is crucial to how other people see us, analyse your new relationships and think about why you acted the way you did. I was in a new place this weekend, I met many new people and I loved it. However I struggled to work out how to approach people, although I don’t think I came across as struggling (I think I did quite well actually) I have now found myself over analysing, this is where the reflection will begin in the next post: I see myself as A, someone else sees me as B, I cannot understand how someone can see me as B and they may not understand how I see myself as A. What happens then? Do we reach an unspoken compromise of C or do we remain in our own interpretation of personality?

Don’t smile if it doesn’t reflect the truth of your personality in some sense. I can happily say that I struggled this weekend because I was suddenly comfortable with people, I knew I could be honest and I didn’t like that… Because it meant honesty… It meant openness and I am desperate to keep that aspect of relationship away from me.

This is where I shall stop, because if I continue it means being honest and open in a public forum.

Why I wrote this I do not know, it seems to have been a necessary action but I do not understand why. Let us try to be more open and honest in our personal relationships, but do not open yourself up so much that you are hurt. The past may kill you, the door may have been firmly shut for many years but try opening that door just slightly to one or two people and you will find it rewarding. Challenging but rewarding. Here is a further challenge, open that door to someone you haven’t known for very long. Make it an exercise in trust. You will desperately want to slam that door, you will want to remain safe in the lonely and empty world which is oh so comfortable but someone may just surprise you.

The Rambler