Today is the day of reckoning, orientation week at Moorlands Bible College! As I sit here comfortably in my reading room I think back to this time two years ago when I was heading in to Moorlands with high academic and low social expectations. Oh how that has almost sort of changed!
This week is one of social hell for someone like me. I do not operate well in large groups of people, I am either in a strange mood and make an arse of myself or (and this is what happens most of the time) I sit in a corner hoping desperately that someone will want to talk to me. This is an incredibly depressing thought considering I am now a third year... So I have compiled a list of protocols for an orientation week which could be as pain free as possible and which will result in less cliques, forced/exaggerated personalities and subconscious competition to be the funniest, cleverest, strongest and most importantly... the most popular!
1) If you think you have a good idea to entertain people, it probably isn't and you probably shouldn't do it. Why not offer to make someone a cup of tea or coffee instead rather than vying to be the centre of attention?
2) If this thought pops into your head, 'I can beat that story!', please don't try to, it is only reinforcing the social pressures to be the funniest, cleverest, one with the most anecdotes etc.
3) During the first week of meeting people physical contact should be kept to a minimum, especially between members of the opposite sex (or if you're gay/bi, maybe restrict it with same sex even though no-one probably knows...). The only exception to this should be if you know the other person doesn't mind you wrestling/hugging/etc. them.
4) Guys, I'm pretty sure girls don't find it charming if you 'jokingly' flirt with them. Infact, I wouldn't be surprised if they actually find it quite creepy. Don't take polite laughter as genuine.
5) People may laugh at your stupidity in the first week or two, that is because they don't know you well enough to tell you to stop.
6) Try not to get carried away, rather than exaggerating yourself why not tone yourself down?
7) You aren't impressing anyone by being outrageous. (I should probably listen to my own advice here...)
8) Just because you're different doesn't mean people have to like you.
9) Cliques are inevitable, just don't isolate your clique from everyone else. All it does is create an unwelcoming and isolationist culture for those who don't thrive on being social.
10) Don't judge a book by it's cover.
11) Sleeveless tops are banned for the first two weeks. No-one cares about how big your arms are.
12) If you fancy someone, don't start stalking them. Ignore the fact that you are lusting after them and go about your daily life. If something happens then great, if not you'll just end up getting hurt.
12b) Be happy with where you're at, if you need a relationship to get you by then you shouldn't be in one.
13) Not everyone is super happy all the time, don't pretend you are but be reasonable about the expression of your emotion.
14) Debates in the Cherries are all well and good BUT:
Your opinion is not infallible
An attack on your position is not ad hominem
Anglicanism isn't wrong just because it is Anglicanism
Don't create a divide between evangelical and liberal, it makes no sense
Before you bash evolution, learn what it actually is
If there is a debate going on and you don't want to get involved, don't announce that fact, tell them that their debate is pointless then walk off. Just walk off
If you genuinely fall out with someone or begin to not like a person based on an issue you are debating (what you think of their conduct is a different matter) then you have issues.
15) It is okay not to like people at Bible College, just don't gossip about them and don't hold up a pretense.
Those are my tips for a successful orientation week, I'm sure there are more so if you want to add to them then feel free!!
For now I leave you with love,
The Rambler
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